9: I'll Give You Five Hundred Dollars for a Hard Boiled Egg

"Yo, Frank, don't worry, I got this. I'll get it all taken care of." Dave Brennan came to visit Frank at George W. Hill Correctional Facility where he was being held pending arraignment. "What did I tell you? That bitch was up to something. Frank, we gotta get her. I told you man, I told you. You want your house back? You want your kids back? Damn right you do. Who the fuck does she think she is? You pay all the bills, she took all the stuff, and she's got that guy in there. I'll tell you what that is, that's called marital infidelity. You know what that means? That means she gets nothing and we get everything. We got her Frank, we got her . . .  and I got pictures. You won't believe the pictures I got. I went over there and took some more too. That old guy mowing your lawn, driving your wife to the store, living in there with your kids. He might be one of them perverts too, who knows?  She thinks she's so slick with the PFA bullshit. You know Frank, I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but word is that your fuckin' bed wasn't even cold when Kat moved that guy in. Who the hell is that guy anyway? Where'd he come from; looks like her freakin' father if you ask me. Don't worry we got her Frank."

At the arraignment the judge can recommend bail or send the person to jail until the hearing. They decided that Frank wasn't violent so he posted bail and was on his way. Frank tried to get his life back into some kind of routine until the court date.

The courtroom where the hearing was held is a big room with a giant desk on a five foot platform in the front.  There are about twenty rows of benches on each side of the room with a big aisle in the middle. It looks like a church, which is appropriate because I'm sure that there's alot of praying going on in there. They call your name and if you are out on bail you're sitting in one of the benches.  You come forward, meet your lawyer at the judges desk and the DA tells the judge what his recommendations are for sentencing.  Then your lawyer tries to negotiate a better deal. The judge approves and then it's over. It reminds me a little of the TV show Let's Make a Deal.  "OK Jay, who's going to play today?"  "Well Monty, here we have Frank.  He's a 43 year old man, he's underemployed, his wife threw him out because he's no good, and now she says he's lurking around the house."  "Well Frank, I'm glad you're here; and I'm sure society is too; hahahah." (cue laugh track)  I can offer you a $500 fine for the PFA violation, a $500 fine for the DUI, community service and driver's training classes. How does that sound?"  "Can I trade that for a hard boiled egg?"