"Frank, man, I'd love to help, but I'm having a few problems of my own right now." Dave explained. That was an understatement. Dave was actually suspended from practicing law for one year. This is Frank's story so I'll just say it involved the FBI, talcum powder, threatening letters, quarantines and an alleged million dollar loss of revenue at a hardware store that Dave had a beef with. Dave tried to encourage Frank by offering some help. "Call Tammy Cavalier, she advertises divorce on the hot dog cart outside the courthouse. I heard she's good. Let me know how everything goes."
The holidays were coming and Frank really wanted to get visitation privileges with his children. He took Dave's advice and made an appointment to see Tammy Cavalier. Frank told her what the problem was and Tammy was very encouraging. "Well, my office is undergoing renovation right now, so I'll have to meet you at the Roadside Diner. Ten o'clock tomorrow sound good?"
Frank arrived at the Roadside Diner on time. He ordered a coffee at the counter and sat down and waited. Fifteen minutes later, looking like she just did the walk of shame from the Pine Cone Motel, Tammy arrived. Frank watched her walk across the black and white tile floor in the wobbly ankle fashion of a woman who is wearing too big heels with too little technique. The early morning sun glistened off her sparkly polyester-blend blouse creating an almost blinding halo effect. Her overly-dyed black wavy hair was mussed like she just hugged a balloon bouquet before arriving. "Hello, you must be Frank, I'm Tammy, it's a pleasure to meet you." The smell of cologne and cigarettes wafted across the counter. It didn't stop Frank from wondering if he should ask what she was doing later. "Frank, I understand how difficult these things can be, but I have alot of experience in Delaware County and I'm sure we can get this all taken care of as quickly as possible." she batted her sticky, spider leg eyelashes at him sympathetically. "Delaware County is a little different from other courthouses. We all know each other, so it's important to hire someone who has connections within the courthouse and within the legal community, and I have that. Frank, I see that you have a PFA against you, that's pretty standard here. That's usually the first thing I do in a divorce, she just beat you to it. We'll deal with it, it shouldn't affect the custody agreement."
Frank left with his copy of the fee agreement and a good feeling that things were looking up. He was finally going to get to visit his kids, get some of his stuff back; tools and things and that antique chair that he and Kat bought at the auction. He loved that chair and if he didn't get anything else, he wanted that chair. It almost became a symbol of everything that was taken from him and getting it back would somehow vindicate him. He would have to remember to tell Tammy to make sure he got his chair. Maybe now would be a good time to go to the Happiest Place on Earth.
Kat, Frank, Frances and Eric went to DisneyWorld a few times and they loved it. We even went with them one time. Matt and my three children are about the same ages as Frances and Eric, Frances was born right in between Blaise and Brett, and they always enjoyed hanging out with each other, so we thought this would be great fun.
Matt is a planner, not much happens by accident around here. He plans every trip out ahead of time. Every day, each hour, he knows where we'll be and how long we'll be there and where we're going next. Especially Disney. He has a plan where we are there at opening but go to the back of the park and work our way forward. Eventually the crowds catch up with us, but for a few hours we're ahead of the game. It's like a precise science to Matt to get the most pleasure out of each and every minute; even though sometimes, to me, that isn't fun. I am a little more impulsive. I would plan less and be more spontaneous, but we probably wouldn't do as much stuff. So, I leave it all to Matt. Kat was the planner in Frank's family. Everything went through her. Where they went, where they stayed, what airline. It was a money thing for her though. She had to maximize every dollar, I think it was her hobby. Matt called Kat to plan the trip together. Frances answered the phone, "Hi Uncle Matt!" "Hi Frannie baby, ready for the trip?" "I'm so excited, it's going to be awesome!" she replied. "Hey, let me speak to your mom." Frances puts the phone down and comes back a minute later, "she's not here." "Tell her to call me when she gets back so we can talk about the trip, ok Frannie?" "Ok, I will." Frances hangs up. Two days later Matt tries calling again. No answer, just an answering machine. The next night, Frances answers again. "Hey Uncle Matt." "Hey Frannie, where's your mom?" "She's here, hold on" Frances picks up the phone again. "Ummm, she said she's talking to Mema. She'll call you later." Matt tried a few more times, with no success, so he planned our trip without her. We actually stayed next door to them at the same hotel with an adjoining door. We had breakfast together the first day, then went our separate ways because Kat said they had other plans. Once during the week we accidentally ran into them at the Animal Kingdom. They looked distressed and Frances was crying, so we went over to see what was wrong. A bird flying overhead pooped on Frances' head. It was pretty nasty. Frank and Kat were creating a scene fighting over who was going to clean her up. Frank said he couldn't take her in the men's room because she was too old, Kat refused to do it, but I don't know what her reason was. I always have a magic bag of tricks. Probably from watching Let's Make a Deal too much in my youth. If anyone needs anything, I probably have it in my purse and everyone thinks I'm brilliant. Needle and thread, bandaid and ointment, plastic monster, an entire pharmacy; it's in my purse. I pulled out my baby wipes and tried as best I could to clean Frances up. She looked up at me with big moist eyes filled with such gratitude, I was just so happy that we happened upon them. I was about to take her to the ladies room when Frank said he would take her. I guess it was out of guilt, but Kat just stood there stubbornly. I wish I could have been there for Frances more often, because I think she needed someone.
As we were checking out of the hotel, Kat came over and whispered to me "I'm sorry Susie, but I tried to plan things with Matt, but he just wouldn't cooperate; I don't know why." I went blank for a minute, trying to figure out her angle. I knew she was lying and I thought she probably knew that I knew she was lying. So what was this about? I figured it was her usual angle of trying to pit people against each other or just trying to have a flat out argument. I have her figured out. I know the way to frustrate Kat the most is to not react to her at all. I played dumb and just said, "Hmmm, I'll have to talk to him" and walked away from her.
Frank went to Disney for a few days by himself to get away from the stress. He said it made him feel a little better. He probably had better company too.
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