Now that Frank was receiving medical coverage through Social Security we could arrange for some medical care. Midge insisted that Frank's problems were all due to depression. She arranged an appointment at a mental health clinic where she was being treated. The psychiatrist that Frank saw at the clinic was familiar to Matt. He had spoken to him on a professional basis many times and thought he seemed like a caring, competent person. The doctor put Frank on Zoloft and recommended monthly appointments. Since stroke is listed as the primary cause of aphasia, we made an appointment at a medical doctor and asked to have Frank evaluated for mini-stroke. He was given an MRI which appeared normal, although the gaps in the brains that cause dementia can only be seen on autopsy. This only meant that his cognitive problems were not caused by a stroke.
As Frank and Midge began spending more time together, Matt and I felt a little of the burden lifted from us. But as I predicted money was becoming an issue. I don't know if Frank thought he was independently wealthy or if it was due to his impaired judgement, but money was running through his fingers like water. We don't know where the money was going, but Frank seemed to be at our door asking for more money quite often.
Matt was the rep payee for Frank's benefits. It was his responsibility to pay Frank's bills, dole out spending money and try to keep some money aside for savings. After giving Frank his spending money for the week, he would be knocking on the door early in the morning asking for more money at least three times a week. One evening around 10:30 at night, we heard a tapping on the family room window at the back of the house. It was a little scary, we were almost afraid to look and see who it was. It was Frank. He said he lost his keys.
Matt said, "Frank, why didn't you just ring the doorbell?"
Frank replied, "I didn't know if you were still up." So to him it made sense to knock on the window. He was also at our door almost every morning. I am always the first awake, on school days, at 6AM. It wasn't unusual to find Frank waiting outside the back patio door when I came into the kitchen. The first couple times, I must admit, I was a little freaked out. Just out of bed, in my pajamas and finding a big guy in an orange hunting jumpsuit outside. I'm not sure where the orange jumpsuit came from but it became the target of alot of giggles and jokes around our house, mostly from my children. Brett became quite good at imitating Frank's mannerisms and speech patterns and had us in stitches with his comical impersonation. Usually only when Matt wasn't home. We learned to keep our giggling to ourselves as Matt didn't seem to like us finding humor in our situation. He said to Brett, "You know, I just don't think it's funny. I think it's not right to laugh at him." one evening after Frank left and Brett began putting on his Rich Little impersonation act. The boys are more likely to find the humor in the situation than feel empathy, and I couldn't disagree because the alternative is to ignore it and pretend it wasn't happening or feel sad. I think it's much healthier to laugh, just not until he left.
"What is he doing with all this money?" I asked Matt one day. "I don't know, but the last time I was over there he had bags of new socks and underwear, about ten new baseball caps, tee shirts with the tags still on. Just lots of stuff." Matt answered. "I guess he's bored." The next time Frank came over I asked him. "Frank, does Midge ask you for money?" "Uh, you know, uh, we go out to lunch. She pays for gas and I pay for lunch sometimes." Frank responded. "Do you know how much money is in your wallet? Have you ever noticed any money missing?" I asked him. "Uh, no," Frank responded.
There really wasn't any point in asking because I didn't feel he was being truthful anyway. Either he didn't know, or he didn't know what I was talking about, or he was being evasive, I couldn't tell. But either way, there was something going on with the money. Frank did tell us that he and Midge began having arguments about money. Midge resented Matt's control of Frank's finances and felt he had too much input in Frank's life. Frank said he felt that he had to defend Matt after all Matt had done for him and this was the source of the conflict. A fool and his money are soon parted comes to mind.
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