26: Driving With Midge

Pat was keeping Frank busy. Every day Pat woke up Frank at 3am to help deliver newspapers. Pat would drive and Frank would hand Pat the papers to throw out the car window. On Sunday morning they went to the warehouse and Frank would put the inserts in the newspapers. Pat would give Frank a few dollars off his rent in exchange. It was here in the warehouse that Frank met Midge. I imagine their eyes met across the bins full of papers and advertisements, eventually they reached for the same ad at the same time and Midge sweetly said "Hi, I haven't seen you around here before." and Frank said "I couldn't help but notice you, want to go out for coffee later?" But I only know Pat told us that they were quite an item at the warehouse.

Actually they were a match made in heaven. Frank barely spoke and Midge never stopped speaking. She was ten years older than Frank and looked like the kind of woman you would imagine delivered newspapers for a living. No fuss, not fancy, just a plain old girl with sweatpants, sneakers and no makeup. Frank brought her over to meet us one day and I actually heard her before I saw her. She literally never stopped talking. Frank just sat there smiling proudly at her. He thought she was the greatest thing that ever happened and Midge felt the same. Separately they both told me how they felt. Frank said one day, extraordinarily articulately for him, "I know she's not much to look at and I know she's a little older, but there's one thing about her . . she's nice to me . . . and I'm not used to that. And boy can she cook. Everything she makes is sooo good."  "Aww Frank, that's nice, I'm glad you're happy. You deserve some happiness." I replied. I was happy, but I also felt such sadness for him that he didn't know what it was like for someone that supposedly loved you to be nice to you too.

A few weeks later was my son's graduation from high school. I planned a big outdoor event with lots of friends and family. Frank brought Midge as his guest. They sat together at a picnic table under a shady tree and Frank was simply beaming. Midge said to me "Can you believe this guy? Just look at him! Who would throw this away. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found him." Then she went on to tell me a story about how they were at the grocery store and the checker said to her "It's so nice that your son helps you shop for groceries." Midge replied to her "He's not my son, he's my boyfriend!" Everyone at the table laughed, including Frank. As annoying as we found her non-stop chattering, Frank's condition seemed to improve. He seemed brighter, happier and more socially engaged. They began spending more and more time together and Frank began helping Midge with her newspapers, traveling around in the early morning hours scavenging trash for treasures together. Frank began bringing home snow blowers and lawn mowers, vacuum cleaners and air conditioners. He was enjoying having projects to tinker with.

Frank was approved for Social Security Disability. We received a phone call for Matt and Frank to come into the office for a meeting. I would like to think it was because of the letter writing campaign I organized on his behalf, but it was probably due to the psychologist report stating exactly how severe Frank's Aphasia condition was. Matt had to become Frank's power of attorney and representative payee. This means that they didn't consider Frank competent to handle the money he would be receiving so the checks would come to Matt and he would disburse it to Frank and pay his bills for him. As much as a blessing this money was to him and us, as we no longer had to pay his rent and expenses, I was also worried. I know how people can get when there is money between them, especially when that person has a personality disorder. I said to Matt, "I just hope that Frank doesn't get paranoid and think we're stealing his money or something." Matt, as usual, said "Don't worry about it, I'm handling it all."

As Frank and Midge began spending more time together, Midge felt that she should have some control over Frank's finances. She called Matt one day and said "Matt, Frank and I are together now and we think his checks should be mailed to me." Immediately, she had Matt's attention. "Midge, you've only known Frank a couple months, I've known Frank his whole life. I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but I think it's best if I handle the finances for Frank."

Midge seemed to take it personally and became a little more distant after that.