Friday, January 4, 2013

36: My Cousin Angelo

"WooHoo, hey Frank Buddy, you see that play?" Sheldon Brown just picked up a fumble from the Giants for a 60 yard touchdown and my cousin Angelo was going crazy. Angelo is my mom's sister's son. He's a big teddy bear of a guy and a huge Eagles fan. Matt had Frank and Angelo over to watch the game. "Uh, no . . . what?" Frank said. "Yo, Matt rewind that and show Frank that play again." Angelo shouted.  Matt got the remote for the DVR and played the fumble recovery and touchdown again. "See that Frank?  That's my guy!" Angelo is crazy excited not only because he loves the Eagles, but because he's got Brown on his Fantasy Football team.

Angelo's being really nice to Frank. Anyone can see that Frank is not following the game, but Matt and Angelo are making him feel like one of the guys. Frank used to live and breathe football. At halftime when Matt and Angelo got up to eat and use the bathroom, Frank thought the game was over and was getting ready to leave.  "What, you cold there Frank? Why you got your coat on already? Here have a cannoli, my wife made 'em. Not bad for a medigon." That's Italian slang for American, or anybody that's not Italian. Angelo's wife Betty is English, but she can cook Italian with the best. She stayed home with their five kids tonight; she knows better than to watch football with these guys. There's always alot of shouting and rude trash talk. 

Angelo is a real estate agent but he used to be a lawyer. Not everyone is cut out to practice law. Lawyers are almost four times more likely to suffer depression than the average person. Angelo used to work for a large firm, but he just suddenly quit one day and didn't work for several years. Then he got into real estate. It seems to suit him better. Matt still asks him for advice about Frank's case though. Angelo is the one who told Matt to fight letting Nicholas Zinc out of Frank's case. Of course, that didn't turn out too well. Angelo couldn't believe that the judge let him out of the case. He said, "I don't know what kind of kangaroo court that Delaware County is. That bitch didn't know the law from her ass. I mean it Matt, that wouldn't have happened in Montgomery County or Philadelphia. Lotta strange stuff going on in Delaware County." Angelo was mad.

"C'mon Frank, I'll drive you home." Angelo said. It was on his way home. Matt didn't want Frank driving home after the game so he picked him up early. Angelo pulled up to Frank's house and went inside with him to turn on the lights and make sure he was okay. 
Angelo said, "Okay Frank, I'm gonna go now, you okay?" 
Frank looked kind of frightened and said to Angelo, "There's other people here." 
"No Frank, there's nobody else." Angelo said. 
"There's some kids sleeping on the floor over there." Frank said. ". . .  and there's some . . . uh, hillbillies over there, and there's a servant." Frank said looking around his living room. 
"Aww, geez Frank . . . no, there's nobody there." Angelo said looking around like he was trying to see them too. "Yo everybody, get out of here, this is Frank's house!" Angelo yelled. "Did they leave? he asked.
"Yeah, they're gone." Frank answered.
Angelo hated to leave Frank but he had to get home and Frank looked really tired. "Frank, look, just go to bed, you look tired buddy."
"Yeah." Frank answered and turned down the hall to his bedroom.
Angelo quietly let himself out and whispered to himself, "Holy shit."

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