It wasn't long before we all got together and Frank filled us in on what we had missed. Terry was conflicted. She wanted to see him, but her life was finally her own. She had moved to a retirement community and was having the time of her life. Between the dinner club, playing cards, the garden committee and traveling, she had no time for the Frank drama club. She agreed to open her door for a meeting, but she was not about to offer much more than that.
Frank looked like a lost puppy. Something was missing. He looked beaten down. The spark in his eye was missing along with some chunk of personality. We all knew something was different about him, but we couldn't put a finger on it yet.
Frank said that Kat seemed restless. She wasn't coming home after work. He would pick up the kids from Kat's mom after work and go home and make dinner. Kat would come home later and say she had dinner and drinks with the girls from work. One day she suggested that they take up ballroom dancing. Frank never considered himself a dancer, but he was an athlete, so maybe he could make it work. He had played football from age eight all the way up through college. His competitive sensibilities kicked in and he decided that he would make Kat proud.
There was an older gentleman at dance practice that Kat seemed to click with. His name was Bill and he reminded Kat of her father. He was friendly; much older than they were, and he could dance very well. Kat began dancing competitively with Bill as her partner, instead of Frank. They even began taking weekend trips for far away competitions. No matter how hard he tried, Frank could not remember the steps for the dances and it was becoming frustrating for both of them, so he stepped aside letting Bill take over as Kat's partner. Symptoms of Frontotemporal Dementia were setting in already.
Still, Frank, Kat and the kids were very excited for their upcoming cruise vacation with a ballroom dance theme. The cruise would be a great way to have some good family fun even though Frank would not be Kat's dance partner. One day, about two weeks before the cruise, Kat pulled Franks aside and said that she needed to speak to him. She explained that Bill was going to accompany her and the children on the cruise and she did not want him to go. Frank was shattered. He had been feeling the marriage weaken and felt powerless to do anything about it. He was also not himself lately. Instead of his usual "I can do anything" Frank attitude, he napped often and sat by himself in the attic loft. More symptoms of Frontotemporal Dementia were setting in. They say the victim of the disease is the last one to know they have it. We got a phone call from Kat a few years after this and she tried to explain her reason for throwing him out. She said he got angry more often and would take it out on the vacuum cleaner, of all the weird things. She said he threw the vacuum down the stairs a few times and they were afraid of this new behavior. He watched his family leave without him on the vacation he had been so looking forward to.
This latest heartbreak came just a year after losing his dream job. Frank was always a salesman. He spent his early career selling cars. Then trying to impress Kat and her mother, he landed a sales job with AT&T. He was full of confidence and felt he could do anything he put his mind to. With this job he traveled, made valuable connections, and received promotions and awards. Trips to exciting locations were offered for a job well done. He was proud of himself and happy to provide his family with the kind of life they dreamed of.
Sadly, his branch of the company ceased to exist and so went his job. He never saw that salary again either. Along with the loss of the job came loss of self-esteem, loss of Kat's respect and especially her mother's. Every chance she got, Mrs. Green told Kat that Frank wasn't good enough for her. Even in good times, Mrs. Green told Kat that she never should have married Frank. But now, when he was at his lowest he had ever been, Mrs. Green continued the pressure on Frank and Kat, stressing that he was no good and that no one cared about him, even his own family. About now, Frank wished he hadn't tried to please Kat by denouncing his family for her, because Mrs. Green was right. No one cared about him any longer and he really needed the support of that family that he threw away.
The end of their relationship came after the cruise ended. Obviously, Kat and Bill bonded over the fabulous vacation spent with Frank's children. Even Frances, their daughter, said to him, "Dad, when are you going to get a clue? Mom is cheating." It was no secret to any of them that Kat was done with Frank and the only thing left was to somehow get him out of the house so Bill could move in. Being married for fifteen years, she knew how to get a reaction out of him. One day while making dinner together, she manufactured an argument, made it explosive by getting him to shout at her, then ran at him with her hands up. Frank's instinct was to put his hands up to protect himself and Kat bounced off his hands and fell to the floor. The next day he was served with a Protection From Abuse order by the police. He could only gather a few things before he left his house and his family for the last time, never realizing that he would never return.
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