49: FTD Regression

"Three-forty-one . . . three-forty-one . . . SET . . . HUTHUTHUT!"

Frank is in the dayhall, or former living room, of the group home that he has been accepted into. This is a large room with a television on the wall and chairs lined up in rows for the residents to sit and watch tv. There are about six people in the room, including Frank, and two aides.  He must have been hallucinating again. The aides said he began announcing play calls before he ran at the row of chairs and started throwing them around the room. The chairs lined up in neat rows must have appeared to be players on some imaginary opposing team, blue plastic uniformed football players. Maybe he's reliving his past glory days when he was one of the stars of the football team.

The director of the home was very generous to give Frank this opportunity to live there and for having the compassion to help him get out of prison. According to her, he was near death from starvation after not being cared for in prison. She did her best to help him gain back some weight and become stabilized on medications. He needed more time, but he wasn't going to get it. This was actually the second episode of inappropriate behavior in only a month. One of the residents told Matt later when he went to pick up Frank's things that the first incident happened when the aides were laughing at him and Frank became angry at them and threw a chair at them. When Matt asks the director about it she denies that this was the reason for Frank's episode. He had begun this behavior of sitting and standing over and over again which annoyed and distracted everyone around him and could have been the cause of the first incident. After the second incident the director called the police and an ambulance and Frank was taken to the local hospital.

This downward spiral that began when he lost his job with AT&T and his wife began seeing another man, continued. Frank couldn't catch a break. The physical stress and emotional anguish he had endured for these last six years had to have taken an enormous toll on him. Maybe he would have gotten frontotemporal dementia anyway, but he is 51 years old and I can only wonder if he wouldn't have gotten it so early or so severely if he hadn't been tormented by his wife and the court system.

Matt and I arrived at the hospital three days after he was taken there. We inquire about his room number and we are directed to the sixth floor. Matt and I step off the elevator into a bustling ward. The lively hallways are filled with staff and carts, and noise.  Most of the staff smile and say hello as we pass; a nurse asks who we're there to see. When we tell her, she says, "Oh, he's our favorite patient, and he loves the ladies!"
"Really?" I ask. I'm kind of surprised that he can still recognize an attractive woman.
"Yeah, especially Donna, she's his favorite. He eats best for her." the same nurse responds.
I look over at the nurse who is blushing. She's got big, long, blond permed hair and a cute face. She's pretty, not in a subtle way.
She just smiles and says, "We're taking good care of him."
They direct us to Frank's room which is just at the corner near the nurse's station. We walk in and he's just lying there staring at the wall.
"Hi Frank" Matt says "How ya doin?"
Frank looks at Matt without seeming to recognize him, then looks away and continues scanning the wall in front of him with his eyes.
We notice that he is tied to his bed in four-point restraints. Soft velcro ties are around his wrists and ankles which are tied to the corners of the bed. He can't move, he can only lay on his back. There is a tv on right next to him, but he doesn't look at it.
Matt goes out to ask the nurse about the restraints. She explains that he fell out of bed, so they keep him tied down when no one is there. She said that they come in and walk him to the bathroom several time a day and they untie his hands while he has his meals. They have to feed him though, he doesn't feed himself. He is so malnourished that they will be inserting a feeding tube into his stomach to help him gain some weight quickly.

While Matt is gone, I sit next to Frank and hold his hand. I began chatting about the weather and the kids, and anything that pops into my head. Frank's eyes scanned the wall behind me even though I was right in front of him. Every so often he would look at me hard, like he was concentrating on my face, then he would look away again and scan the wall. This is the first time I have seen Frank since that day in municipal court when they put him in jail. That was only three months ago, but the difference is shocking. His weight, his facial expression, and the frailty is not something I was prepared for.

48: Last Will

Air Force Thunderbirds

The summer before Frank was arrested, we took him on vacation with our family to our beach condo in Ocean City, Maryland. It was the annual Ocean City Air Show and we knew Frank would love it, because, of course we do too. He loves anything military, especially Army, from his time being in the Army Reserves. We sat on the beach with a cooler of sandwiches and drinks watching the air show over the ocean all day. Highlights were the C-130 cargo plane, it's amazing to see that enormous plane flying by. The F-18 Hornet is just absolutely thrilling when it flies by and you hear that incredible sonic boom a few seconds later. The star of the show is the Air Force Thunderbirds. They do those amazing tricks and fly-bys and it was definitely worth waiting for. That night on the boardwalk the Navy Seal Parachute team parachuted down onto the boardwalk and jogged past us and into the event tent. Those guys are true rock stars, and each one more handsome than the next. It was a great time and thinking back I am so happy that we were able to spend some good times with him while we could.

That weekend we thought it was time to talk about his will. It was hard to bring up, but something that we realized was necessary. Not that he had any money or any items of value. The few things he might have had were left at his house the day he had to leave it when Kat got her PFA. There is a divorce settlement pending though and we were expecting that at some point in the future Kat would be forced to pay Frank what she owes him, just a basic dividing things down the middle settlement, but it could be a significant amount of money. Matt said "Frank, we have to talk about your will."
Frank answered, "I'm going to live forever. I feel great."
I said, "I know Frank, I feel the same way, but it's good to be prepared anyway."
Matt asked, "What do you want to do Frank, you want to leave everything to your kids?"
Frank answered, "yeah, that's good."
I said to Matt later, "Why would he want to leave his kids anything. They know he's not well and they don't care. They could call him if they wanted to, they're not little kids any more. He spends more time with us and our kids than his own. We're his family now. I think we should suggest leaving everything to his beloved niece and nephews; you know, the ones that actually care about him and spend time with him."
"Susie, you know how much he loves Frannie and Eric. In the end, I want them to know that no matter what they did, or didn't do, that their father still loved them more than anything in the world. It doesn't matter how long the distance or how deep the hurt, in the end, they were still the most important thing to him. That's what a father does, and that's what Frank would want." Matt explained.
He has a good argument, but I'm a little angry at them and I wish I could ask them to explain themselves. "Frances hasn't called Blaise since he asked her to call her dad for his birthday, and she dropped him and Brett from Facebook too. What's with that?
Matt insisted, "Well, after we pay off his debts, there probably won't be anything left anyway, but I'll try to make sure there's a few dollars left so they know he still thought of them . . . and Kat will know that if she hadn't dragged this out for so long that her kids would have gotten all the money right back instead of it going to your cousin's attorney fees."

47: FTD Patient Admitted to Group Home

"How's it going Frank?" Matt asks Frank brightly, trying to sound positive while visiting him in jail.
"Good" Frank answers in a robotic kind of voice. His voice sounds a little different; like a higher, weaker tone. He's lost a lot of weight too, and his eyes look sunken and dim. He's probably down about forty pounds from when he first was arrested less than two months ago.
"We're trying to get you out of here Frank. We're looking for a nice place for you to go." Matt assures him.
"Okay" is all Frank says.
"You lost a lot of weight; what's going on? I thought you liked the food here." Matt has never seen Frank this thin.
"They're stealing my food." Frank answers.

Matt is shocked at the difference in Frank's appearance and demeanor. He looks over at one of the guards standing nearby. He offers, "Yeah man, he's kind of having a rough time now. All his buddies left and there's a whole new crew here now. They're giving him a hard time, I think it's been rough on him. We have to keep him in his cell for his own safety."
It was the interaction with the other prisoners that helped improve Frank's condition initially, but now,  being kept alone, basically in solitary confinement, languishing in his cell, has had a horrific deteriorating effect. Apparently Frank is not the only person this has happened to. A lawsuit has been filed against the Pennsylvania Prison System for keeping mentally ill prisoners in solitary confinement without proper medical care.

A social worker for the prison called and asked us if we found a place for Frank to live yet. He explained that the warden doesn't think Frank belongs in jail and wants him out. Perhaps he is as alarmed as we are at Frank's dramatic decline. Frank has been found incompetent to stand trial, so there is no reason for him to be in jail other than the judge will not release him to us; maybe with good reason. There is no question that Frank is debilitating in prison though and we need to figure something out. I'm perplexed why the social worker is asking us if we've found a place for Frank, when it's his expertise. He must not even be trying. I called "A Place for Mom" but the best they could do is a half-way house about three hours away in the mountains near the Delaware Water Gap. It's a beautiful park and camping area, but we would rarely be able to visit and they provided no nursing care, just a bed in a home. That would not be a long term solution. Finally, based on a recommendation from the social worker, Matt called a group home right near the prison. It's a regular house in a regular neighborhood, but it's been converted to a nursing home with ramps and a big parking lot and houses about ten people plus two staff and a nurse. The director, to our surprise, agrees to interview Frank to see if he's a suitable candidate for the home. We get great news that she will "take a chance" on Frank; her words. She reported back to Matt that Frank is "dangerously malnourished". She said that she felt that Frank was in imminent danger of death by starvation if we didn't get him out of George Hill Prison quickly.  This woman is our new hero.

The only hold-up is that the home cannot accept someone with criminal charges against them. Through the social worker, the director of the group home communicated to the warden that the charges need to be dropped. The warden called the judge in this case to let him know. This is not the woman judge from Domestic Court, this is a male judge from the Civil Section assigned to Frank's PFA violation.  This judge seems like he's trying to be fair; unlike our experience in Domestic Relations. He realized that Frank needs this group home, but he can't drop the charges himself. He has to call Fargo. Fargo has to call Kat who, in her passive-aggressive manner,  refuses to drop the charges.  The judge had to call Kat and Fargo into his chambers for a meeting in person to berate Kat into doing the right thing.  I don't know what he had to say to her to get her to do it, but knowing her, it took a lot of pressure. Meanwhile, while all this negotiating is going on, there's an empty bed at the home losing money. The director told us that we had three days before they were going to go to the next person on the list. This was just one more way that Kat could hurt Frank and I have no doubt that if she knew of the three day time limit, she would have taken four to make her decision.

Two months after arriving at George W. Hill Correctional Facility, Frank leaves looking like a hollow shell of the person who went in.

46: FTD Divorce Under Suspicious Circumstances

The letter to Fargo's office was headed with "third request". "Please forward to my office all orders and correspondence related to the court hearing dated April 7."
Angelo was trying to get to the bottom of what happened at the secret hearing on that date that involved Frank but we weren't invited to.  Angelo saw it on the courthouse's web site of previous hearings. Three weeks after he asked for the order of the hearing to be retrieved from the court files, he got a phone call from the cabal of secretaries in Domestic Relations that his file was ready to be picked up. Angelo went that very day, an hour drive into Delaware County, to the office of Domestic Relations where the women work who thought it was so funny when we showed up for the canceled hearing.
"Hello, I'm here to pick up this order." Angelo hands the woman the file number. She turns and looks through the files for a few minutes and says, "I'm sorry, it's not here. Did someone tell you it was here?" the woman asks innocently.
Angelo is fuming already. "I just got a call this morning! What do you mean it's not here?"
"It must be in the judge's chamber, try over there." she offered.
Angelo was shuffled around the courthouse from one office to another; being passed around like gossip at junior high. He finally ended up at the office of the District Attorney to complain. The woman in the office looked at him like he just landed there from planet Mars and asked to be taken to her leader.  Angelo was beginning to feel like he was on another planet. He hadn't practiced law in a while, but when he did, in Philadelphia and New Jersey, he had never run into such an unscrupulous bunch as these people. He had no choice but to leave empty-handed after being told the order was lost. What was   in this order that no one wants him to see?

He continued pressure on Fargo to hand over the order, as she is required to do, because the secretary never did produce a copy for us. Two months later, after the appeal period was over, Fargo's office finally sent a copy of the order. We found out that Kat and Fargo had their secretary friend, the one that thinks this is all so funny, set them up with a court date to finalize the divorce before our hearing, thereby rendering our request for spousal support immaterial. So, she had our hearing cancelled yet held one of her own without any notice to Frank's home or attorney. The transcript was even more unbelievable. This divorce has been unfinished for seven long years because Kat refused to sign the papers because it would mean handing Frank money. The first thing the woman judge asked was "Is this divorce uncontested?" Because she noticed that neither Frank, nor any attorney to represent him, was there. Fargo answers, "ummm . . . the other side hasn't shown up. We don't know why."
Here is Fargo lying under oath with Kat standing silent right next to her. They both know exactly where Frank is, in jail, because they put him there. The judge asks no more questions and finalizes the divorce. Fargo asks the judge for Frank to pay her $2500 in attorney's fees and the judge says, "why don't you take $3,000 just to make sure you have enough to finish up." Fargo thanks her and it's over.

These are two women who know each other very well, they are both on the same committees and boards and they both went to the same law school as well. I can't imply that there was collusion, but to finalize a divorce after seven years when the plaintiff or his attorney wasn't even there is a little questionable, especially when this very same judge refused to appoint Matt guardian of Frank at a previous hearing. It should have been postponed at the very least.

Angelo appealed the decision so we could move ahead with our request for support saying that our hearing could not be stayed for not having a guardian, while her hearing moved forward. Our appeal was set to be heard in July along with the support hearing with the same judge. Meantime there was alot of papers flying back and forth. Angelo wrote a brief with our issues and Fargo had to answer. The main question was why weren't we notified about this hearing. Fargo said that she sent a notice to Frank in prison and she had to assume that he read it. Angelo answered back that if you knew he was incompetent to have a hearing for the spousal support, why would you think he would be competent enough to be the sole receiver of a notice of a hearing to finalize his divorce. She answered that if Frank were truly incompetent, there would be a doctor there to read it to him.  Her answer that she admits that she sent notice of the divorce hearing to prison is a direct contradiction to her sworn testimony in court that she had no idea where Frank was, which is a crime known as perjury. Finally, she expects us to believe that she feels that there are doctors hanging around the prison reading mail to people and making sure their attorneys are notified of any pending legal proceedings; it's preposterous.

45: Appointed Guardian of FTD Patient; for Frank's Sake

"Plaintiff's request to be granted 'guardian ad litem' denied. I suggest you take it up in Orphan's Court."
That was the ruling by the first judge that let Nicholas Zinc out of Frank's case which was the first time Matt asked to be made guardian for Frank, just for the divorce case. Guardian ad litem is not a full guardian, it's just a guardian appointment to be able to negotiate on behalf of someone for a particular area, but not everything. We really didn't want to be fully responsible for Frank at that point mostly because I didn't really know how liable we would be for him. Say he gets into an accident and gets sued, or does something negligent; would we be legally responsible for any hot water he found himself into? Matt had gotten turned down three times by two different judges in Delaware County Courthouse to be appointed guardian ad litem. There was no reason given, but all three times they told us we had to go to Orphan's Court. Orphan's Court is for full guardianship which would give Matt the power to conduct any and all business on Frank's behalf. After we did some research we found that a guardian cannot be sued or held financially responsible for any debts or liabilities so we decided that since Frank was found incompetent and Matt was going to have to go to court for him, that he would have to go to Orphan's Court after all.

Fargo was using Frank's incompetence against him. She had our hearing for spousal support cancelled because she told the docket clerk that we couldn't proceed without a guardian. The woman who works in Domestic Relations that seemed to be working for Kat's attorney, rescheduled it for three months later, now a total of eight months to wait for an emergency hearing. Still, two Delaware County Judges refused to appoint Matt guardian. We decided to go around them and go to our own courthouse where a person can still be treated fairly.  Orphan's Court in Montgomery County appointed Matt legal guardian of Frank after reviewing all the medical evaluations we had. Normally, the incapacitated person would be there also, but since Kat had Frank jailed, that was going to be difficult. Someone from the courthouse took the hour long drive up to the prison and interviewed Frank. It was a slam dunk after that. Matt was appointed legal guardian by the court of Montgomery County and had papers to prove that he was legally able, and required, to look out for Frank's best interests. There was no one better suited to do this because Matt took his responsibility for Frank very seriously. He took Kat's and Fargo's victimization of Frank very hard. There was no one but him to try to get justice for his brother. He could see that Kat paid Frank what he was owed financially, but he could never right the wrongs she committed to him and the children emotionally; all for Frank's sake.

44: FTD Support Hearing Goes Awry

"Let's see . . . ummm, no; there's no record of any hearing today. Are you sure it was today?" The woman at the court clerk's desk takes off her reading glasses and looks up at Angelo quizzically. Meanwhile another woman in the office is standing behind the front desk off to the right side and we hear her on the phone. She's looking directly at us, like she's speaking to us, but she's on the phone. "Yeah, they're here now . . . yeah." she giggles.

Our emergency hearing for spousal support, that we've been waiting five months for has suddenly been cancelled with no notice or reason. Apparently someone in the office thinks it's hilarious though. What does Mulva Fargo do to get the courthouse personnel to tamper with cases for her, I wonder.
"Who do you think that woman was talking to on the phone?" I say out loud to Angelo and Matt. We all already know the answer though.  No one even answers me.
Matt and I both took off from work today. We weren't needed to testify and Frank wasn't going to be there, but we felt it was important for the judge to know that someone cares about Frank even though Angelo said we didn't have to go.
"We must have stepped in some deep shit here. I don't know what's going on, but that case was on the docket yesterday. I know because I checked it to make sure the time hadn't changed." Angelo looks like a mixture of anger and confusion. I think we all feel the same way. Suddenly I feel paranoid, like we just stepped into a private club where everyone knows each other and we are standing out like nudists at a suit convention.
"You guys get out of here. No sense hanging around. I'll see what I can find out." Angelo seems distracted. I was mixed with relief and disappointment. No one likes to feel duped or ridiculed, but I really wanted our day in court and I felt like doing some yelling. I had to leave it to Angelo to get to the bottom though, so Matt and I left. Since we were all dressed up with no place to go, we treated ourselves to a nice, quiet lunch at a beautiful old colonial restaurant near home. We don't talk about anything much but Frank these days though, and it's becoming exhausting.

Angelo tracked down the guy who schedules the docket for Delaware County Courthouse and asked him what happened to our case. "Yes, the other attorney told me that you weren't ready for the case." he said in his superior tone, as if this was a good reason.
"What do you mean? You take her word that I'm not ready for my case?" Angelo asks incredulously.
"She said that you couldn't proceed without a guardian for the plaintiff." the docket clerk explains.
"Where's the judge? Did she approve this? Because as far as I know you can't just cancel my hearing because the other attorney wants you to." Angelo is exasperated. The guy shows no reaction and has no response. He just walks away from Angelo quickly, like he has someplace more important to be and leaves Angelo standing there.

It's not like Fargo didn't know who Angelo was. He sent a very polite letter to her office introducing himself as Frank's attorney and in the final paragraph wrote that he was looking forward to meeting her on the 28th at the courthouse for the APL hearing. He got no response from her, probably because she wasn't planning on showing up for it. Keep in mind also, that this very same judge who was presiding over this case is the same judge that turned Mat down, twice, to be appointed guardian ad litem for Frank. It is required for a judge to approve the cancellation of a hearing if it is within twenty-four hours.    So did she approve the cancellation of our hearing for need of a guardian and at the same time refuse to appoint Matt guardian?  It's been six years that Fargo and Kat have delayed things, they're not going to stop now, especially when Frank has some unknown, i.e.  not Delaware County, attorney that is easily manipulated by the courthouse employee shenanigans.

Before he left the courthouse Angelo checks the docket one more time to see if it was rescheduled at all. While perusing all files for 'Layton', he is surprised to see that there was a hearing three weeks ago. Angelo sucks in air, "What the hell is this?" he says to himself. He goes back into the office where the cabal of treacherous secretaries work. The three of them all look at each other when Angelo walks in. "Hey, can I get a transcript of this case?" He hands the woman a piece of paper with the case number on it. The same woman that was on the phone laughing at him before is still snickering with her head down. He looks at the name plate on her desk and makes a note to himself to find out who she is and why this case is so important to her.  "I'm sorry sir, that case isn't in our files any longer. I'll have to order it from the records." the woman looks blankly at Angelo, but he's feeling all their eyes on him. He's tries to stay calm and not give the impression he's on to their tricks because he knows that will only make it worse. "Okay, that's fine." Angelo says calmly. "When will it be ready?"
"I don't know sir, it could be three weeks." the secretary claims.

Angelo gets in his car and drives an hour back home to Betty and the kids, and solace. He looks around his nice home and his beautiful family and thinks, "What the hell am I getting into here?" He feels like he just stepped out of the Twilight Zone.

43: FTD Sufferer Incompetent to Stand Trial

"Will Francis Layton come forward!" the court bailiff announces.
There's suddenly a mumbling of voices and running. Distant scuffling can be heard. They've brought Frank in from jail for his hearing on the PFA violation that Kat complained about from two months ago. Someone whispers to the judge and he gets up out of his seat, steps down from the high platform that his desk rests upon, and disappears through the doorway.

"Matt, I've never seen anything like it." Guy Newman, Frank's friend and attorney from his previous, more normal life, states sadly. "They put Frank in that holding cell and it was like he was a caged animal. He was actually climbing the walls."
"So what happened?" Matt wanted to know.
"Well, he was trying to rip the bars out of the wall, and the guards were actually afraid to get near him; and that doesn't happen too often, I can tell you. There was no chance that they were going to bring him into that courtroom for his hearing."
Matt let out an audible sigh, "So what's next?"
"Psychological exam." Guy explains. "Everything is on hold until we find out if your brother's competent to stand trial. In my opinion, he's not, and they'll have to drop charges. Where does that leave us, I don't know."

Matt was dumbfounded by this news. It seems like just when there's hope that Frank is improving, he suddenly gets much worse. Our plans to bring Frank back home are dashed by this new aggressive behavior that we didn't count on. Frank is to stay in jail until a full psychological exam is completed and a new court date is set.  At that point the judge will follow the recommendations of the court-appointed psychiatrist.

Dr. Arthur Boxer is a very well respected psychiatrist on the Main Line of Philadelphia. He's got a CVA a mile long, serving on many boards and educational institutions along with his own private practice. He also works for the state as the court's appointed psychiatrist. We were very fortunate to have this opportunity for a complete mental exam for Frank from such an experienced and knowledgeable doctor. According to Dr. Boxer's report, Frank had a complete lack of knowledge and understanding of his present circumstances and environment. His condition, FTD, caused him to not be held accountable for his activities as he lacked the ability to comprehend his actions which led to this situation. He was rendered incompetent to stand trial with no hope of becoming competent in the future.

There wasn't exactly a hearing, just a meeting in the judge's chambers with the DA and Guy Newman, who has been extremely generous to Frank. He donated his professional services at no charge for his old friend for any criminal charges like the PFA and DUI. There are still incredibly good, caring people in the world. The judge will not release Frank to us unless we can assure him that someone will be caring for him 24 hours a day. Since that's impossible, the only option for Frank's release is to a nursing home. I called every place I could find on the internet within our area. I thought it was hard before he was arrested to find care for him, but to find a nursing home that was interested in accepting someone from prison is nearly impossible. This is what I'm most angry about now. Kat is so hateful and spiteful, that six years after Frank filed for divorce, she's still punishing him.

This arrest is only because my cousin Angelo filed for spousal support and Kat doesn't want to pay. If Angelo had any experience working as a lawyer he probably would have known the court would not award spousal support to a man that is not caring for the children in any way, but that's another story. Due to his lack of experience working as an attorney, Angelo was on the wrong path with this case the entire time. We felt we were doing him a favor of giving him a job when he needed it, but he mistook our generosity for desperation and became someone we didn't know.

At the time we felt that since Frank had been found incompetent, the hearing would go our way and Kat would be ordered to help support him in some way.

42: We're All Just Actors in the Great Movie of Life With FTD

Matt and I took a little Sunday drive out to George W. Hill Correctional Facility. I don't know what we were thinking, we didn't do any research ahead of time. I think we thought it would be like visiting a hospital or something.  Just driving up to the guard station was intimidating, with razor wire everywhere and gates that seem like they could trap you at any moment. We found out that they have a narrow window of visitation times, so we couldn't go in anyway. I was actually relieved because as I was reading the dress code guidelines posted at the gate, I changed my mind about wanting to go in. I read, "no tight fitting clothes, no see-through clothing, females must wear bra and panties . . ." I don't think I belong here, and I certainly don't want to be checked by a prison guard to see if I have on panties. I know I've been exposed to things that I wouldn't imagine I would have had to go through lately, but this is all a little too ghetto for me.
"I'm sorry, but checking me for panties is a deal-breaker, say hi for me." I said.

Frank's hearing isn't for another month to see if they are going to sentence him or let him go for violating the PFA. Matt called the prison Monday morning to inform them of Frank's Frontotemporal Dementia and that he is taking Abilify to prevent the hallucinations associated with his condition. He spoke to a nurse in the health suite and she said she would make a note. It took them about a week to notice that Frank was a little different. The phone rang, caller ID says it's the prison so I answer immediately. "This is the nurse at George W. Hill. We have, your brother I guess it is, in the health suite here. Is there something wrong with him?" Never mind that Matt had already called the health suite and told them what was wrong and gave them a list of Frank's daily medications. Apparently this information wasn't noted after all and he hadn't received any medications at all. At least they finally figured it out and he will spend the rest of his incarceration in the hospital wing of the prison.

With the narrow visitation hours at the prison, and Matt's work schedule, it was difficult to find a compatible time to visit Frank. After Frank had been in jail for about two weeks, Matt finally got there. He said it was very difficult getting though security. Not only is there a metal detector, but a scanner to detect narcotics, and a dog. There are no wallets, or money, no watches or jewelry, cell phones, no hoods, no double layers of clothing, so if you have on a shirt and sweater, you have to take one off. One time he forgot that he had his watch on and by the time he walked back out of prison and through the mile-long walk back to the parking lot, visiting hours were over.

Matt sat down in the visiting room with Frank. By the way he described it, it sounded like the visitation room on one of my favorite shows, "Arrested Development" when George Bluth was in prison. Like a small cafeteria with short rectangle tables and guards around the room watching for conduct violations. ("no touching!") We had been so worried about how someone like Frank would hold up in prison. He can't follow directions, doesn't communicate well, doesn't comprehend what people are saying to him; how could he keep up with the demands that prison life would hold for him? Our worries were unfounded; Matt said that Frank looked great. He was communicating better than Matt had seem him in months. He had a huge smile, and said the food was great, and had made friends.  One of the other prisoners shouted over, "Hey Frank!". Matt asked, "Who's that Frank?"
Frank answered, "Oh he's just one of the actors, they're all actors. You're getting the money, right?"
Matt is slightly confused. "What do you mean Frank?"
"We're making a movie here. All these people here are in the movie with me. They put the money in my account right?" Frank is off his meds and is probably hallucinating right now, but it's a good hallucination, I guess.
"Oh, yeah, I got the money." Matt goes along since it makes Frank happy.
"We'll go see it when it comes out." Frank seems really excited.
"Hey, how's it going." Frank waves at another prisoner walking past.

Matt came home feeling much better than he had in weeks. Frank believed he was the star of an action movie being filmed at the prison and seemed more vocal, thoughtful and happy than he had in weeks. Probably due to the constant interaction he was experiencing with the other inmates and guards. Which suggests to me that symptoms of FTD can be improved by living in a stimulating, group environment.
"I wish I had been there to see him Matt." I said. "Next time you go I'll make sure I put on my prettiest panties."

41: A Warning

We should have been relieved. It should have felt like a burden lifted; but, we were like a busy bee hive that lost it's queen. We were buzzing and flitting with nothing to do. Our outrage at what had just happened in court was becoming overwhelming the more we discussed it. Angelo told Matt that cops do what they did to Frank when they really want to get a guy. They pick them up on a warrant on a Friday afternoon and by the time they get to the police station and they get their phone call, it's too late to post bail so they have to stay the weekend. Maybe that's all they intended but by the nice local cop calling me, giving me time to get there to post bail, I spoiled their plans for Frank's weekend stay so they had to deny bail. I don't know though. Vincent was coming down from New Hampshire to visit this weekend. We had to call him and let him know so he didn't make that long drive and not see Frank. He was always closest to Frank and took the news pretty hard. Maybe it's worse hearing bad news from far away when there's nothing that you can do. It's one of those things that the more you think about it, the more victimized you feel, so late that evening, feeling helpless and desperate to help Frank, Vince sent an email to Frances and Eric, Frank's kids, via Facebook. It was a plea for them to help their dad, that he was really sick and needed their help to get back home. There was nothing wrong, it didn't place blame, just letting them know that Frank was in a bad situation and asking them to help him.

Saturday morning, the next day, at 8:00, the phone rings. Caller ID says it's Delaware County Police. "Now what", I'm thinking. I answer the phone. "Hello, is Vincent Layton there." the caller asks.
"Uhh, no. He doesn't live here." I answer, confused.
"This is Officer McCreedy with the Delaware County Police. We have information that he was visiting you this weekend."
I am still confused about what this guy wants now, it's the cop from the courthouse yesterday.  "Uhh,no. He was coming to help us take care of Frank this weekend, but since you arrested him, we told him not to come." I said sarcastically.
"Oh, okay. Well, he sent an email to Frances and Eric and their mother wants you to know that if you ever contact them again she will consider it harassment and press charges." the cop tell me.
"Oh, really. And why would you be telling me this, since I didn't try to contact them?" I want to know. He begins to answer me, but I interrupt him, ". . . and furthermore, they're the ones always contacting us. They've called my children and contacted them on Xbox many times . . . and Eric's Xbox ID is 'bluntblazer', I didn't even know what that means but my son told me it means he smokes pot, so you tell her that I don't think she's done such a great job with them." I added that just in case Kat was standing right there next to him listening in while he did this as a favor for his neighbor.
Officer McCreedy continues, "yeah well, they were very upset at his email and she just wants you to know that she does not want you to contact them."
"Well, they should be upset. They don't know how unwell he is, but maybe they should." I said.
"Yeah, I was the one who arrested him yesterday, he didn't look too good." the officer stated.
"I know, I spoke to you yesterday." I informed him. There's a pause; he's thinking I guess.
"That was you?" he asks like it's some great revelation. I wonder why he's so astonished. Is it because Kat painted us as monsters and his impression of me didn't fit the illusion she painted, or is it because he was surprised that Frank's family was able to make it to the arraignment even though they gave us no notice. I'm left to wonder.
"Yes, that was me, I'm Matt 's wife. You know Frank has dementia and we've been working really hard taking care of him. We just got him stabilized on meds after being in the hospital for three weeks and now it's all ruined." I took this opportunity to vent.
"They'll take good care of him, he'll be just fine." he dismissed my worry.
"You know, Frank was a good dad and he hasn't seen his kids in six years.  I don't know if you're a father, but if he has to take that hit just to look at his own child's face once in a while, I don't blame him; I'd do the same thing." I said angrily.
"I hear ya. I'm a divorced dad and I have custody of my kids. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have them." He said honestly.
I continued my ranting, "And you know what else? I could not believe the level of disrespect in that courtroom. There is a man standing in front of you in shackles, with his life in ruins, and you were all laughing and having a great time like it meant nothing at all to you. It made me sick."  I was so glad I had the opportunity to get this out.
"Hey, we do this every day, it's nothing to us, we have to try and get through the day too." He tried to excuse the behavior.
"Exactly, it's nothing to you, but it's something to everyone that comes in there, and that should be respected. And what's with that judge? It looked like he just came in from mowing his lawn. He can't dress a little, maybe put on a tie before he shatters someone?" I observed.
"No, he came in on his day off just to do this, he's a good guy." the cop says.
"Well, maybe he should dress the part, you know, look like he came prepared at least." I said.
Instead of getting angry though, he seems happy to continue making small talk with me, and oddly, doesn't seem ready to end the conversation.
"Well, I have no plans to contact Kat or the kids, so  . . . is that all you wanted?" I ask.
"If I could just get Vincent's number . . ." he asks.

Vincent is freaked out. "What the hell? I had a cop call me this morning!" Vince called Matt after he got off the phone with McCreedy.
"Yeah, he called us too, and we didn't even talk to them." Matt replied.
"I was upset about Frank getting arrested . . . and I might have had a little too much to drink too, but I don't think I said anything wrong though." Vince sent Matt a copy of the email he sent to the kids. It sounded like he was a little emotional, but not angry or crazy or anything, he just asked if they could help their dad. They might have been upset because there was a time when we were close and he was funny Uncle Vince, and now they feel like the bad guys. Especially Eric, because he was the one who claims to have seen Frank at their house, and as a result of that, Frank was arrested, sealing his fate.
"Can she do this? I mean, I didn't do anything." Vince is upset.
"No, don't worry, just don't contact them again." Matt says. "Susie's cousin Angelo is going to send him a letter telling him not to call us again and if he has anything else to say he should contact him."

Angelo was outraged. Matt called him right away and told him what happened. "Are you kidding? What's with this guy. He's going to warn you not to do something just in case you were thinking of it? A cop wouldn't do this. This is personal for him for some reason. I'll take care of it." Angelo fumed.

"Oh, believe me, I won't send any more emails." Vince said assuredly.

40: FTD Victim Exploited

"Mrs. Layton?" the voice on my cell phone from an unknown number asks.
"Yes, this is she." I answered.
"This is Officer Fox, of the Montgomery County Police Department." the caller stated.

I knew it was about Frank, I'm thinking they found him wandering somewhere dangerous, or maybe they were calling to follow up on him being lost the other night. Frank's only been home from the hospital for a week after being diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia and our lives are more turned upside down than before he went in. If we aren't with him, we're talking about him. If we're not talking about him, we're worrying about him. I took the day off from work and actually felt guilty for not spending it at Frank's house watching old World War II movies, his favorite thing. He's got a video tape of every movie about WWII ever made, I think. We just watched his newest purchase, "Swing Kids". It was a good movie, about German kids dancing to American swing big band music in private clubs during WWII, but the Nazis banned it so they had to be discreet and then, of course, they got caught. My kids are still making fun of their mantra "Swing Heil!"

"Is everything okay?" I ask the officer.
"Well, I just thought you would want to know that I had to pick up your brother this morning on a warrant from Delaware County. He's fine but I thought you would be worried about him." the officer stated kindly. He had my phone number from when I reported Frank lost two nights ago.
"A warrant? He's been in the hospital for three weeks and he's only been home a few days, and he's got dementia. What could he have done?" I ask.
"It was for a PFA violation." the officer informed me.
"Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. He's been in a nasty divorce for six years now." I told him.
"I figured it was something like that, but they called and asked if I would pick him up, and then they came and got him here. It's a courtesy thing." the officer explained.
"Well, I just thought you would want to know." Officer Fox sounded apologetic.

I thanked him and hung up. I had only just gotten to the mall. I needed to do some retail therapy. I was feeling a little stressed out over all the extra work and worry we've had lately and thought I would take some 'me' time. So much for that. Now I just feel guilty that I wasn't there when they came and got him, or if I had taken him out with me they couldn't have picked him up, or if the hospital had just kept him, or if that stupid nursing home would have accepted him . . .  I called Matt and told him. He was furious. This was definitely planned out. When they picked up Frank for PFA violations before they always called first to say there was a warrant and let him come in. This was covert, because we never got a warning and if Officer Fox hadn't called, we still wouldn't know where he was.

Mulva Fargo, Kat's attorney warned Nicholas, before he resigned the case, that they would report Frank for violating the PFA if we didn't drop the alimony petition. Matt called her bluff. We thought we would have had our hearing by now and Kat would be helping with Frank's care, since they are still legally married and she's the one holding the divorce up by not signing the papers. Guess we were wrong. Matt called Angelo to tell him what happened since he would be looking for Frank too and he couldn't believe it also. He said, "I'll call and find out where the arraignment is and post bail for him."
We thought we would have him back in a few hours and as soon as they found out how ill Frank was, they would release him immediately. No, that would actually be the human thing to do.

In November, four months ago, when we realized how bad Frank's behavior was becoming, Angelo petitioned the court for an Emergency Hearing for spousal support. His condition was becoming too much for us to support and we needed that hearing. Despite the title "Emergency" the hearing was scheduled for April, five months away. I called our Montgomery County Courthouse to ask how long it takes to schedule an emergency hearing there and they said it was a day or two; five months is inhumane. My old high school girlfriend is a court reporter at Montgomery County; when I told her about what happened, she whispered, "I've heard so many stories; everyone knows how corrupt Delaware County is, you'll never win there."

So with the hearing for support scheduled for April, Kat has had Frank arrested in March. I go with Angelo to post bail to get Frank back. We drive to a town in Delaware County, an hour away, to a Municipal Courthouse. It's a little empty building in the middle of nowhere, there's two officer there, and a couple bailiffs when we arrive. One is the arresting officer, his badge says "McCreedy". He's probably wondering how we found out about the hearing, but he says to Angelo, "you the lawyer?"
Angelo answers that he is and McCreedy goes, "Yeah, I know Frank."
 I'm wondering why he's telling us this, so I ask,"Oh really, how do you know him?"
"I'm his wife's neighbor." he tells me. "yeah, I know all about this guy."
"oh crap!" I'm thinking. Kat's always been a story teller, who knows what she's been feeding this lardhead, and she just got him to do her bidding, and all so she doesn't have to pay spousal support. I figure I better cut this conversation short because he looks like one of those unstable kind of cops that would falsify records or something evil. He looks and has mannerisms exactly like Hank, the DEA agent, on Breaking Bad and I don't like the looks of him.
"You know the judge had to come in on his day off for this." the Hank look-alike continues.
I guess we're supposed to feel bad for him. I look inside the courtroom and don't see a judge. I find out it's because he doesn't look like a judge. He's got a plaid flannel shirt on and jeans and looks like he just came in off his tractor. I find out later that Municipal Judges, or Magistrates, aren't even lawyers. They're just some guy that runs for political office and gets to decide people's fates without having to endure the trials and tribulations of law school and learning all those pesky laws. It showed too. If I could remember his name, I would like to write him a letter and tell him what his decision has done.

Court begins with a gavel bang and Frank is brought out of a holding cell in handcuffs and leg shackles. I hear them shouting at him because he doesn't comprehend their directions about where to go and how to walk with his ankles chained together. He finally gets it together and he walks past me. I'm trying to make eye contact, but he doesn't look at me until I say "Hi Frank". He says hi back to me and continues his perp walk to the front of the "courtroom". The judge accuses him of violating the PFA and Angelo tells the judge that we would like to post bail.
 The judge says "Bail denied!"
Angelo says, "Your honor, the defendant has just been released from the hospital after a three week stay. He's severely incapacitated and was diagnosed with dementia by the psychiatrist there."
"Counselor, I said bail is denied." the municipal judge stated firmly.
"Your honor, may I say again that the defendant is in a very fragile state right now and  . . ."Angelo tried to argue to no avail.
"Well, jail will be the best place for him then." the judge had his mind made up before we even got there; Kat had already gotten to him through her friend McCreedy.
Then the cops, the judge and the bailiffs began bantering and laughing out loud while they filled out the paperwork to take Frank to jail and Frank stood before them in shackles.
I suddenly felt cold, I had to get out of there before I threw up.