16: Erector Set Life

"Frank, now what did you do?" Nicholas was beyond frustrated with this difficult client.

He agreed to help finalize a divorce that two other lawyers had failed to settle, which should have been a clue that this wasn't going to be easy. At first he thought it was a slam dunk. Write up the agreement, get it signed and get paid. He thought his adversary would jump at the opportunity he was giving them. He wasn't asking how much money was in the bank, how much the furniture was worth. Merely half of Kat's retirement account, which is customary, and be done and it's payday for Nicholas.  Frank calls constantly asking how things are going and he's always getting himself in hot water. Now Mulva Fargo says they won't agree to signing the divorce agreement because apparently Frank signed Kat's name on refinance documents and any settlement offers are off the table until the District Attorney finds out what else he may have done.

"Nick, I didn't know what to do. I needed to re . . . uh . . .  re . . .  uh, you know get a lower payment on my mortgage on my house. I'm behind in child support, Kat, she's going to put me in jail if I don't pay up, I know her man." Frank couldn't remember the word for refinance, but Nicholas knew what he meant. "Her name is still on the house and I knew she wouldn't sign so I did it, I didn't think she would know. " Nicholas didn't actually know what to say, because Frank was right. Kat walked out of the property settlement without signing the papers turning the house over to Frank and he was in a tough spot. "Well Frank, the DA is investigating and we'll have to see what happens." Nicholas tried not to sound as concerned as he was. "Just be ready for the hearing for visitation tomorrow. I'll pick you up and 8." Nick didn't want to take the chance that Frank would forget to go to the hearing after all the phone calls about missing his kids and when can he see his kids. For God's sake it was all he talked about, Nicholas certainly wanted to get this over with. What did people see in having children anyway, it just seemed like alot of trouble and for what? Spit up, waking up all night, going to 'family' restaurants with nothing better on the menu than hamburgers and fries. Nicholas preferred a more dignified life; dinner and drinks with friends, theater, weekend adventures. He could see how at some point in your life children may be useful, like when one is getting on in years and maybe would like to have a trusted family member for powers of attorney and the like. He thought it would be nice at that time to adopt a child; but not a child at all, an adult. There would be several rounds of interviews and outings to test compatibility, and afterward an offer of adoption would be made to the best choice. They would be invited to holiday dinners, picnics, he would make himself available for birthday gatherings. He felt it was the perfect situation, but until then he would remain childless.

Nicholas picked up Frank the next morning, they drove to the courthouse with Nicholas coaching Frank on what to say and what not to say. "Remember to tell the master how much you love Eric and Frances and how you are bringing them to visit at their former home. They'll like that. Also remind them that you are current on your support payments and don't say anything negative about their mother." "Don't worry Nick, I got this, I'll be fine." Frank had his usual confidence, ' laytonacity' we call it. It's when you have confidence but nothing to back it up with.

"Well Mr. Layton, tell us why you would like to see the children." the court master started off with simple enough question. "Well, I just miss my kids, I haven't seen them and I think I should be able to, you know . . .. I want to go to my boy's soccer game." "Right, and the boy, what's his name?" the master asked a simple question.  "Uh, his name is, uh . . . it's uh, . . ." Frank is drawing a blank on Eric's name. "Eric" Nicholas offers the name, but the master is on to something. "And your daughter, her name is?" the master is on a hunt now. "My daughter, her name is, uh . . ., I know it, uh . . .." Frank is blank, even though her name is the same as his.  "Mr Layton, you are telling the court that you are worthy of visitation when you don't even know the name of your children?" the master asked a pointed question. " No, I know their names." Frank was just as confounded as the master was as to why he couldn't remember their names. "Visitation is denied until further family counseling is completed."
That was it. Just another screw-up onto the other pile of screw-ups called Frank's life. It reminded him of his old erector set when he was a kid. He tried to build the Empire State Building so many times, but one screw out of place and the whole thing would be off balance and fall apart. Except, there's a whole lot of loose screws here and there's no going back to fix them.

15: Nicholas Zinc

Nicholas went back to the dingy little office and slumped in his chair and kicked off his Ferragamo loafers. What had he gotten himself into? He just thought he would do a favor for his new office buddy, and make a quick buck while he was at it. He even agreed not to take any fees, beside the small retainer,  until the divorce was finalized since Frank had no money. He didn't even ask for interrogatories. He thought Fargo would jump at the opportunity to end this quick like he wanted to do. Interrogatories are like an inventory of assets. What is your salary, what do you own, what's everything worth. It makes it easier to divide everything equally. We weren't even going there. Just you keep what you have, we'll keep what we have and call it a day, or a marriage if you will. Now, Nicholas had to write up a brief to enforce the settlement, wait for her to answer it and find out what the legal reason was for walking out of the property settlement without signing over the old house to Frank. Then go to court and see what the judge says. This is all going to take many hours of legal time that Frank could not afford to pay. It wasn't like there was alot of work coming in though. Nicholas had only just set up his office, but so far only a few strays came. One inquiring if he could sue his landlord for kicking him out of his apartment. Another wanting to sue McDonald's because she always had varying amounts of Chicken McNuggets every time she went there. She actually kept a log of who waited on her and how many nuggets she got. Another guy wanted to sue his roommate because he was speaking to him telepathically and he asked him to stop but he wouldn't. He was actually tempted to take the next crazy lawsuit that came in just to pay some bills. The next time he decided he would ask for a two-thousand dollar retainer and see what happened.

Also, Frank was not your average client. Obviously something was going on mentally. Frank was difficult to communicate with and Nicholas was not sure that Frank always understood what he was telling him. For example, when Mulva and Kat left the room without signing all the papers, Frank knew something happened but Nicholas had to explain it to him three times before he seemed to get it. The stress of divorcing a woman with anger issues just may be getting to him. Now Nicholas had to be a doctor and diagnose his medical problems too?

Nicholas had recently been to a Continuing Legal Education seminar on "Handling Toxic People in the Workplace". A requirement of keeping one's law degree is to enroll in continuing education classes. Kat's personality fit to a tee the Passive Aggressive and Covert Anger personality described in the seminar, which actually had him quite worried. They described this type of client as a high-conflict individual who poses the greatest risk to professionals in initiating complaints and baseless litigations and engaging in protracted divorce settlements. He felt that one of his responsibilities as counsel was to bring his clients into reality. Most of the time there is no happy ending or justice for wrongs, just finality and hopefully peace at the end. Sometimes people come in with angry stories of injustices along with demands for retribution and the attorney has to be the one to bring them down and face the fact that sometimes things happen and there's nothing that can be done; there is no case. Hopefully Mulva Fargo is as anxious to end this as he is, but he had the feeling that she would prolong this as long as possible because a Passive-Aggressive client with money is money in the bank.

14: She Punts, She Scores!

If Frank was ever angry at Kat, it was now. "What did I do to her? I don't understand." Frank moaned to Dave. He just could not comprehend why she was attacking him this way. He was beside himself with worry about not seeing Frances and Eric, locked out of his house, no money, and now, no lawyer.    Dave tried to sound positive, "Frank, I've got a buddy. He hasn't done a divorce, but I already talked to him and he said he would take your case. He's going to give you a break on his fee too; a hundred an hour. You won't do any better. He's a good guy; you'll like him. His name is Nicholas Zinc. We just started sharing an office."

Frank and Dave had gone to court to fight the disqualification of Dave being Frank's attorney. They argued that while Dave knew Kat, they never discussed anything specific about divorcing Frank, ever. They knew this was just a game of one-upsmanship. Kat could get rid of Dave, who might know too much about her and her personal life and could possibly exploit that knowledge in court somehow. It was also a power trip to be able to force Frank to start over again at the beginning. Kat was the one who held all the assets, the kids, the larger house, her bank account, so it was in her best interest to slow things down so they take as long as possible. Eventually Frank would run out of money or energy and she would still be holding the house, the kids and her money.  Kat insisted that Frank hand over his paycheck to her each payday. She paid the bills with Frank's money and deposited her money into a Smith-Barney account, and there was no way she was giving any of it to Frank. As usually happens in court, the judge sided with Kat and Mulva and Dave was disqualified.

About a week later Frank met Dave and Nicholas at the Goalpost Sports Bar. A whole year had gone by from when Frank first filed for divorce and he was no closer to concluding this now than he was then. Frank walked in and saw Dave with a guy that must be Nicholas at a table in the middle of the room.   The place was really loud as most everyone was there to watch the Redskins play Tampa in the Wildcard playoffs. The game had only just started and the Redskins were already ahead by two touchdowns. Dave was talking, but Nicholas' eyes were scanning the room, looking around at the other tables. He was a slight man, a little younger than Frank, with full, wavy dark hair and a moustache. Frank approached them and Nicholas stood up to shake Frank's hand.  Dave said, "Hi Frank, how ya doin'? Let me introduce Nicholas." "Hey Nick, good to meet you." replied Frank. "It's Nicholas" Nicholas replied in a curt but polite tone, which Frank did not even notice. What he did notice is that Nicholas had the softest hands he'd ever felt in his life. "He must not change his own oil" Frank thought to himself.  Just then the waitress came over, "Okay, what'll you guys have to drink?" Frank and Dave ordered Budweiser draught and Nicholas ordered a manhattan. "Alright Frank, let's discuss what's been done on the case and what you would like to happen." Nick, I just want to see my kids, that's all I want right now." Frank explained. "I understand Frank, we'll do our best. I also noticed that your child support is a little on the top side for your salary level. That's the first thing we'll address, then we'll move on to visitation or even partial custody, property settlement, and then spousal support, I understand that your wife's salary is considerably more than your current income." Frank thought this Nick sounded pretty decent; things were looking up again.

Nicholas got right on to the case. The first thing he did was arrange the property settlement. This would give Frank a little money so he could avoid falling behind in his child support. It was decided that Kat would become sole owner of the family home and Frank would become sole owner of his old house. Kat would have to refinance and pay Frank half of the equity that they had in the house. The judge ordered, upon Mulva Fargo's suggestion, that Frank's money be put in an escrow account to be used for any judgements or child support payments.

The day of the final property settlement, they all met at a local title office to sign the papers. When Frank arrived Nicholas had all the paperwork in various piles meticulously laid out on a large round table. He wanted to make this go as smoothly as possible; everything was ready to sign and go. The sooner he got this case over with the sooner he could get paid and take care of Nicholas, and he had his eye on that brand new escrow account Frank was getting. Mulva and Kat arrived shortly. Mulva, stone faced and brisk entered the tiny room first, Kat followed in behind her, looking even larger than usual with a bulky white ruffle collared blouse beneath the black suit she always wore. She too was expressionless, but her eyes held an evil gleam that gave away her intentions like a bad poker player. Mulva was quick to say "Okay, let's get down to business here." They all sat and Mulva began examining the papers. Looking back it was clear there was a plan in place, and it was beautifully executed. Mulva picks up the papers pertaining to Kat's house and hands them to Frank to sign. Frank picks up the pen and places his large letter 'F', which stands for his signature these days, signing the house on Monroe Avenue over to Kat.  Mulva and Kat stand up and Mulva says, "Our business is concluded here." Kat quickly exits first and Mulva backs her up. Before Frank realizes what just happened Nicholas is chasing them down the hallway. "Wait, you can't do that!"

Mulva picks up the ball, punts it to Kat, she takes it in for the score. Touchdown!

13: Saved by the Bell

"Yo, Frank, it's me, Dave." Frank was on his way out the door. He was on his way to his house to confront Kat, make sure the kids were okay, find Tammy, he didn't know what else. He was blind with outrage because suddenly it became clear that Mulva and Tammy were communicating with each other behind his back, and it seemed that they were conspiring against him. Dave called just in time to stop him from getting arrested again. "Dave, I can't really talk right now. That, um, that lawyer I got, um, you know that one from the hot dog cart,  . . . she's screwing me up man. She's in on it Dave. I think she's talking to Kat's lawyer and . . . I don't know but something's going on" Frank tried to explain, but he's having trouble remembering Tammy's name. "Wait, Frank, what are you saying?" "Dave, I gotta go, I gotta go over there, I have to check on the kids." "Frank, stop. now you know you can't go there. Listen, I appealed my suspension and I got my license back. We can get her now Frank." Dave was talking about the incident of the fake anthrax powder that he mailed to the hardware store he worked at. He received a one year suspension from practicing law, but it was reduced on appeal. Frank was so relieved to hear this. It felt good to have a trusted friend on his side. "Dave, my child support, it's like a thousand dollars. I don't have it" Frank moaned.  "Look Frank, call Tammy and fire her, then we'll start over." Frank got off the phone and felt better already. He left a message for Tammy to call him.

Tammy called Frank back the next morning. "Frank, I know you want to see your children, but . . ."
"No", Frank interrupted. "I have a new lawyer, it's a friend of mine, so, uh, I'm just going to go with him." Tammy paused "Oh, but Frank, we were just getting somewhere. I was just writing up the settlement." Tammy whined in her nasal tone. " Well, my buddy Dave is going to do it, so, uh, I don't need you to do that." Frank was in a hurry to end the call. "Fine", Tammy snarled "I'll write up your bill."

Dave got to work quickly sending the court an Entry of Appearance informing the court and Mulva Fargo that he was Frank's new attorney. Dave had Tammy's file on Frank sent to his office. He discovered that she hadn't really done much of anything related to the divorce except write up the petition and try and get visitation which backfired miserably when Frank did not get visitation but became responsible for exorbitant child support payments. Dave knew he had his work cut out for him trying to renegotiate child support. The court usually looks at the highest earning years when determining the appropriate amount and that's what they did here, except in this case, the difference between the highest salary years and the curent salary are huge. It was kind of obvious that there was something wrong with Frank lately. Dave noticed that Frank just didn't quite seem himself. He just wasn't the old jovial story teller that he used to be. He seemed to always be searching for the words but they didn't come, so instead there were awkward pauses. That's something that he may need to bring up with the court and try for spousal support from Kat. It was clear to Dave that Frank was not capable of earning that old salary though.

Exactly five days after sending his Entry of Appearance, Dave received a Move to Disqualify petition from Mulva. Kat is claiming that she had a discussion about divorcing Frank with Dave and for him to represent Frank would be a conflict of interest. Unfortunately, there was probably just enough truth there to be arguable. Even though no specifics were discussed, Dave did remember Kat bringing up the subject of divorce with him one time when she was visiting Vanessa.

Dave called Frank to give him the bad news.

12: Lightbulb Moment

"Frank, your children don't want to see you" Tammy said bluntly. Frank had been calling Tammy's office almost daily wondering when he could see Eric and Frances. He had completed Anger Management classes. The instructor basically told the class that their anger is the root of their current problems and to release the anger in a healthy way would improve their situations. They should hold Frustration Management classes, that would probably be more useful; or Hostage Management classes, to teach people how to release family members that are being held hostage by family court.

Most times Tammy did not return the calls. Something had changed. Before, Tammy was always positive about getting visitation. Now, she is telling Frank that his own children don't even want to see him. Kat finally hired a lawyer. Tammy told him that she knew Kat's lawyer very well. She only practices family law; divorce and child custody and only in Delaware County, and has been for twenty-five years. Kat wouldn't rush out and do anything hasty, she took her time and found and aggressive lawyer who is also known as an insider in the courthouse. When Frank went to work at the phone store later that day he searched her name online, "Mulva Fargo".  She has a web site; Frank clicks on it. Up pops her name and picture and a few paragraphs about how she's going to handle your case, or in other words, put the screws to your husband. She's plain looking. Beige hair, beige skin, beige suit, long narrow face with small eyes slanted downward giving her a tired, strained appearance despite the smile. Frank reads on, " I have narrowed my practice to the area of family law because I believe that families are the building block of our society." That seems ironic; she specializes in breaking families apart because they are the building blocks of society. Does that make her an anarchist?

Tammy set up another hearing in Family Court to try again for visitation at Frank's insistence. Tammy and Frank arrived on time and entered an empty room. Ten minutes later in walked Mulva Fargo beside Kat who was wiping tears with a crumpled tissue. "Wow, that's a good performance." thought Frank. "Just look what can be achieved with good coaching" he watched in awe, then glanced at Tammy. Tammy and Mulva nodded at each other almost imperceptibly.  Frank caught it though. Mulva didn't quite look like her picture on the web site. It was probably taken a long time ago. She looked like an old, dried up scarecrow to Frank. Thinning, frazzled hair the color of straw, long haggard, pasty face and her body was so thin she barely filled out the discount store, pale gray polyester suit that hung loosely from her. The first time I met Mulva I noted that she's got the classic signs of an overactive thyroid. One side effect of hyperthyroidism is insomnia, which might explain how she thinks up all her devious tricks.

The hearing got underway and the Master was informed by Tammy that Frank had completed Anger Management successfully. Fargo interrupted and said that "due to the Plaintiff's anger issues the children do not wish to see their father at this time." The hearing was over almost before it even began. The Master said he needed to speak with Frances and Eric himself before deciding on any visitation.
There's another attorney fee, more time and money wasted, more time for the children to get used to not having a dad around; but worst of all, more time for Kat to work her Parental Alienation techniques on them.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is best described as brainwashing the children to hate one parent and become dependent on the other parent. The child usually lives most of the time with the alienating parent and does not have a choice but to participate in the behavior. If they don't go along they risk angering or betraying the parent that they depend on the most. In order to cope with the situation, the child will take the easiest route and take sides with the alienating parent. In severe cases, this parent will implant false ideas and stories into the child's memories by saying things like, "your father never did like you" or "your father beat you and I had to stop him." The more time the alienating parent can keep the child away, the less likely the isolated parent will ever be successful in having a relationship with the child again.

Frank got home and began ruminating over all the latest events and at the end, one thought remained; something is up with this Tammy. Frank wondered, how did Tammy know that he was going to be arrested while he was in Florida, and how would the police know to call Tammy? At that point they had only met a few times to talk about the divorce. Dave had represented him for the first PFA violation so if the police were going to call an attorney on his behalf, it would have been Dave. The other thing bothering him was that Tammy told him that Frances and Eric didn't want to see him. He didn't know how Tammy could have gotten this information before Kat's attorney sprung it on them in court. Then he remembered the look exchanged between Tammy and Mulva when they entered the courtroom, like they knew each other. Frank's heart started racing. He started pacing around the room. Did they think he was a fool? Nobody calls Frank Layton stupid without regretting it. All three of them are probably over at The Goalpost having a good laugh over a beer at how they got over on him. Wait, what if they're hurting the kids, they might be in danger. "How could I be so blind when it was right in front of my face" he was panicking and becoming more paranoid by the moment. Frank grabbed his keys and raced toward the door.